09 April 2006

Nest of Vipers

We used to have a good working relationships with the US troops on base we would have a good laugh and a few of them would come round to our accommodation for our BBQ’s, we have made some god friends, however over the past month that goodwill has quickly diminished.

The first thing that happened, in one of the mess halls (DFAC for my colonial readers) is run by a fierce South African woman who scares most US troops on base, she called up to say that the Jundie were fighting, as normal we requested support from the US Military, the officer who is responsible for looking after this company replied he was to busy to attend. The unit the Jundie came from has US Officers attached to it as Advisors, now the previous advisor an outstanding and top bloke an LTC in the USMC would always make sure the civilian staff were ok and went out of his way to make sure all problems were sorted, however his replacement is a waste of space, the new guy a full bird colonel as the yanks say turned up, when informed what had happened he replied “Its not our fight, we are just advisors, leave them (unarmed civilians) to deal with it and pulled two of his soldiers out who were trying to help. He then walked off until I transmitted his entire comments over the radio net requesting military support, he then turned around and returned to the DFAC.

We have a new guy on base, an Air force Captain, he has to be a grade A asshole, along with the colonel they have managed to nearly destroy all the goodwill that has been established over the past year we have been here.

Now something you definitely wont see on the news is the standards that the IAF live in, now a bit of back ground, when they were first given these ablution blocks, they were spotless, and the pics you see is what the Iraqi Soldiers turned them into, this is what the Coalition is having to deal with, I have the greatest respect for the Coalition folks who are trying to educate these people, you cant call them animals, animals don’t shit in the same place that they sleep.

Had fun with a convoy a couple of days ago, just before we left the camp to of the dim wit drivers decided to drive up the wrong road and nearly getting two semi’s stuck. Then when we left the camp we were driving through chicane, one of the trucks saw an oncoming US Convoy approaching so stopped to allow them to enter, however the twat stopped in the deepest, wettest muddiest part of the road which was to narrow for the American convoy to pass anyway. When we tried to leave the twat had got his truck stuck so we had to get a tank to toe him out.

As expected there is good natured ribbing between the Brits and Yanks, but there is a limit, I actually saw 2 American Marines getting very defensive when a US Soldier was bad mouthing the Royal Marines, so one US Marine took offence having worked with Royal Marines, punched the soldier, doesn’t matter what country they were from, Marines are Marines, the USMC guys actually said the Royals could teach the Army a few things.

At another incident I was involved in, one US Marine decided to be rather suicidal and start bad mouthing Brits, his fellow Americans were obviously embarrassed, one person who shall remain nameless managed to get into the Marines room armed with a can of CS Spray (similar to the ones police officers have), along with some help the person removed all the Yanks trousers, took them outside and sprayed the crutch of all his trousers, then when it crystallised they were put back in his room, now as the rooms have air con and this was the height of summer the room was nice and cool, so next morning he put his trousers on and the heat activated the CS.

Moral of the story for all my American readers, don’t bad mouth the Brits, especially if you are on a base full of them and there is a vindictive bastard on base.

I have been contacted by one of my colonial readers who complained at some of the terms I have used, so here is a link from BBC America Site that translate into American (http://www.bbcamerica.com/britain/dictionary.jsp).

Every day on base we have a daily meeting in the afternoon, now as you will know the atmosphere has been pretty crappy of late, we went to the meeting fully expecting the new Captain to give us shit, however thanks to the timely intervention of one of the finest example of a US Marine I have worked with in over 4 years or so I have worked on and off with the Yanks, thanks to his help I sat in the meeting have not only pulled the rug out from underneath the arrogant Captain but ripped it out, this morning he demeanour changed completely from being a complete prick yesterday to all friendly and smiley.

I was digging though some old files on my computer and found some posters I had done. The previous XO of the base had a wicked sense of humour and surprisingly was well versed in current events unlike many of his compatriots I have worked with, now for obvious reasons I have blacked out his face, but the pic in this posts is one of the posters I did after I “Acquired” a picture of him. There was a few made much to the enjoyment of the Americans on base who enjoyed having a laugh at “The beast”.


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